The Random Story of Randomness
by Lady Jarine
Summary: exactly what the title says. ::WARNING:: this story does not have a real plot
1. Randomness Begins

Hi. This is my random story of randomness. I hope u enjoy it and if not, you must be in league with... THE M.O.M.S!!! GASP!!! BTW, don't worry if u don't get it if u r not Morgan. Morgan, if u don't get it I am very disappointed in u. Oh well, on with the story. Oh, and I don't own anything Harry potter related. Happy now? Oh, and I fixed a few minor details so yea. By the way, this is going to be a joint story between me and N.D. fan so ask her for the next chappie (  
  
On with the story...  
  
Harry, Ron, and Hermione were in the great hall, eating the author's favorite meal, parmesan cheese with a bit of spaghetti ::yum:: when Harry decided he was bored. "I'm bored" he said. "oh yea, well I'm boreder!" argued Ron. "But I'm borderest!" yelled harry. Hermione was embarrassed by their arguing and she looked around the great hall to see if anybody was watching. Luckily, it was the current fashion to wear pink fluffy earmuffs, so nobody could hear them. Harry and Ron continued arguing. "oh yea, well I am borederesteresteresteresteresterest!" Suddenly, the room got all dark and spookyish, and a figure appeared in the middle of the Gryffindor common room. Then it ran down to the great hall where everybody was. "oh no, its moldywart!" yelled harry. "1. his name is Voldemort. And 2. that's not him. Its..." Hermione trailed off, then came back because the trail was a dead end. "AAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHH!!! It's my mom!" Jetta screamed. "U RNT USING PROPPER GRAMMAR!" the author's mom screamed at her. "fine, I'll use proper grammar" Ruaianna said with her fingers crossed. "AND ALL U GRYFFINDORS YOUR COMMON ROOM IS FILTHY!" zoom to common room one book is lying tidily on a table zoom back to great hall The author realizes she can do whatever she wants in her story so she turns her mom into a piece of cake and ron eats it because he in hungry. Nobody noticed my mom because they were all still wearing their pink fuzzy earmuffs. Suddenly, harry got an idea for what to do. "I know that we can do!" he said standing up and doing the finger thing (private joke, don't ask (hey kewl I just added in another private joke())"We can..."  
  
Muahahahahahahahaha! Ok that was a short chappie but review if u like it and review if u don't ok? Ok. First reviewer to suggest something good for Harry's idea will have their idea used. Oh, and be sure to say wasn't gonna somewhere in your response (part of the whole private joke thing, but please play along as it will make me happy) REVIEW!  
  
RESPONSES SO FAR:  
  
Jetta Colette Crystal: HI SELF! SUP? Oh, and hi N.D. fan. POST THE NEXT CHAPPIE SOON!!! U didn't say wasn't gonna! Poop. And it looks shorter than it is on your computer, so ha.  
  
SiriuslyDelirious: I luv your name!!! But it makes me sad... oh well. Virtual timbits from tim hortons for you. Yea, randomness rules. But u didn't say wasn't gonna. ( s'okay.  
  
Lenai Riddle: Thanx!!! I got it from www.jkrowling.com u click on extras and characters and the Weasley section and its actually Ginevra not Ginerva, sorry, my mistake.  
  
Samurai Katagi: Oops, sorry! I put in a few more private jokes than I meant to. Hopefully N.D. fan can make the next chapter funnier... sorry again, and thanx for reviewing anyway. 


	2. Playing on the super special computer

A/N: ok, I guess N.D. Fan has abandoned this story; I'll just do this chappie cuz I feel like doing something random.  
  
"We can go play computer games!" Harry said excitedly (is that even a word?). Hermione groaned. "How many times must I tell you that ELECTRIC ITEMS DON'T WORK AT HOGWARTS!?!" "Yes, but this is a super special computer game that works inside Hogwarts because it is super special," Harry explained, and his logic made so much sense that they all went to the Gryffindor common room and put in the disk for the game Harry Potter and the Prisoner of Azkaban.  
  
::The author decides to write in script format for a while::  
  
Harry: Wow! There are three people on the Hogwarts express that look like us! Cool!  
  
Ron: Wow! They even have the same names as us!  
  
Hermione: (sarcastically) Your brilliance never ceases to amaze me. And does it shock you that the Ron in the game has a rat named scabbers?  
  
Harry: (stares at Hermione)  
  
Ron: (stares at Hermione)  
  
Hermione: What, did I harm your ego?  
  
Ron: The computer Ron does have a rat named scabbers! You could take over for Trewlawney!  
  
Hermione: (rolls eyes)  
  
Ron: HEY! I saw that!  
  
Hermione: Good.  
  
Harry: Shut up, I'm trying to follow scabbers!  
  
Hermione: Why? Scabbers is evil.  
  
Harry: Because I have to in order to finish the game. Besides, maybe the computer Scabbers is good!  
  
Ron: Yea. Ack, there's a computer Malfoy and a computer Monster Book of Monsters! RUN COMPUTER US, RUN!  
  
Harry: I'm supposed to let those evil looking pages hit me, right? Oh, I just died. I guess not.  
  
Hermione: (rolls eyes)  
  
::author stops writing in script form::  
  
Just then, the computer got turned off for no apparent reason, which was highly convenient, as the author wants to end the chapter. :) 


	3. The Pink Fuzzy Cat That Made No Sense Be...

Ok welcome to this chapter, The Pink Fuzzy Cat That Made No Sense Because Hermione Said So (and we all know Hermione is always right because she's the smart one) I'm co-writing this with StarRegina 'cause she asked me too and I like random things so I said "sure". Right. Hope you like it! Oh, ya, and I don't own The Harry Potter Universe and neither does my co-author so HA to all you people who were going to sue me!

Harry, Ron, and Hermione were walking out on the grounds because the author wanted them to. Then suddenly Ron said, "AAAAAAHHHHHHHHHH" okay, maybe he yelled it but whatever, "It's a pink fuzzy cat!" "And what's so terrifying about a pink fuzzy cat?" Harry wanted to know. "Well nothing I guess, but I donno where it comes from" replied Ron. "And that makes it terrifying?" Hermione asked, rolling her eyes as only Hermione can. "Well, no" Ron admitted, "I was just trying to start conversation." Harry decided to spare the readers of yet another Ron/Hermione argument and said, just as Hermione opened her mouth to start one of these famous arguments, "Well I suggest we get a move on, this chapter isn't very random so far. So ya, that's the cat we've been studying in Care of Magical Creatures for the past five days." "That's not right," said Hermione in her best know-it-all voice, "We don't have Care of Magical Creatures five days in a row"

Harry- Oh ya…

Ron- How come the author's writing in script format now?

Hermione- (in matter-of-fact tone) Because it's less confusing for the readers.

Ron- Oh.

Hermione- So anyway, that cat doesn't make sense at all

Harry- Why not?

Hermione- Because I said so.

Ron- Hate to admit it, but she's got a point.

Anyway, then everything went dark and spooky at the same time the author decided to stop writing in script format for no apparent reason. Then they heard this evilly evil laugh and :gasp: Voldemort appeared! "Muhahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha-" "Okay, okay, get on with it!" Ron yelled, unable to stand the repetitively redundant laughing. Voldemort then stopped laughing and looked at them all. Then he said "Hey, why do you look so surprised to see me? I show up to kill Harry in almost every book!" "Well," said Hermione, "I guess because the plot usually leads up to you appearing at the end of the book." "Oh." Said Voldemort." "But, seeing as this fic doesn't have a plot, I guess we can make an exception." Hermione concluded fairly.

:Author goes back to writing in script format just to bug the readers. HAHA:

Voldemort- Oh, good. Well Harry, I just apparated here to-"

Hermione- (exasperated) HOW MANY TIMES DO I HAVE TO TELL YOU PEOPLE THAT YOU CAN'T APPARATE INSIDE THE HOGWARTS GROUNDS!

Voldemort- you can't apparate inside the Hogwarts grounds?

Hermione- NO!

Voldemort- Aw, _beeeeeeeep_

Voldemort disappears and Author decides to end the chapter because she is getting bored with it.

Did you like it? Sorry this is the first chapter I've ever written by myself and I need to know if I'm any good. PLEASE READ AND REVIEW! And do keep in mind that this fic is _supposed_ to be random, if the title didn't give you a hint. Please, I really need your reviews!


	4. Star Wars and CANDY!

**Hi this is Lady Jarine aka WOULDN'T YOU LIKE TO KNOW:ahem: ON WITH THE CHAPPIE!**

Harry, Ron, Hermione, and everyone else was confused. They had been standing in the exact same positions for almost a year. But nobody blamed Lady Jarine or Little Lily Granger, of course. They knew what terrible horrible things happen to the characters who call the authors lazy…

Anyhoo, ya.

Everyone just blinked confusedly for a while, then snapped out of it and forgot it ever happened. All the other characters just followed Everyone's lead. Everyone is such a trend-setter. And then the day ended. Yeah, that's it.

The next day, Harry Ron and Hermione all ate some magic muffins that transported them into a strange place somewhere in Canada. It was a basement in someone's house (not to be confused with Somebody, because he lives in Australia)! Needless to say, they were all very shocked. So they stood there for a while and tried to think of what to do. Before Hermione could come up with a good idea, Ron and Harry smelled junk food upstairs so they went upstairs. Hermione muttered something about idiots and junk food and Harry muttered something about idiots and rocks and Ron muttered something about cotton candy cuz EVERYONE LOVES COTTON CANDY!

So when they got upstairs they found five girls watching Star Wars three with a big bowl of candy. Star Wars and candy have a very interesting effect on the five girls in question, so they all jumped up and started going "FFFFFFFFFFFFFF!" Harry, Ron and Hermione just kinda stood there, really shocked at the stupidity of these people.

"WAIT! THESE ARE HARRY POTTER PEOPLE!" Lady Jarine squealed. Little Lily Granger went all yay and so did Bunnylover. Sarah and a very odd rat tried to go yay too but then the three formerly mentioned people started handcuffing them together in order to force them to become best friends. Sarah and the odd rat still said yay, though.

They introduced themselves. "Hi, I'm Lady Jarine and that's my sister Sarah and that's Bunnylover and that's an odd rat and that's Little Lily Granger but she said in her bio that you can call her Annie…" Lady Jarine broke off and started staring at the movie and then at Lily and then at the movie and then at Lily and so on. Ron had a strong suspicion that she was author 1…

So they all started talking about random stuff and yeah for about an hour until Lady Jarine used the force to tell Lily that she wasn't allowed to go to the dark side and there was a huge akward moment where everyone except Lady Jarine rolled their eyes. Yep, she was oblivious. Then she got bored with the akwardness of the akward silence and decided to have something new happen.

Suddenly, Voldemort appeared in the middle of the room. He seemed rather surprised. "I believe I am rather surprised," he said. "One minute I was attacking Hogwarts and eating a muffin I found in the Great Hall, and now I'm here!"

Nobody was listening. They were all watching the movie. It was a good movie. Then Bunnylover turned around and noticed Voldy standing there.

"Are you emo?" she asked. She and Lady Jarine and Lily jumped up and started doing their emo imitation and giggling like mad. Everybody was very scared, so they ate a magic skittle and went back to where they came from. Nobody noticed cuz they were watching the movie again.

**TADA! THAT WAS CHAPPIE 4!**

**Ya it was short. Deal with it.**


	5. In which Harry is BORED!

A/N: Muhahahahahaha! Yes, it is I, Little Lily Granger, all high on sugar and here to give you chappie five. Right, I need a totally random idea…hmmm…

Right, disclaimer…well, if you've read any of the other chapters then you _must_ know that neither I nor Lady Jarine are J.K.R. by now. I mean, _come on_…(see previous chapters to understand crazy author's point).

………………………………………………………………………………………………

One day, for no particular reason _whatsoever_, Harry Potter, The Boy Who Lived, The Chosen One, The-boy-who-had-to-put-up-everyone's-stupid-problems, was bored.

Yes, you read that right. He was _bored_.

So, having nothing else to do, he stated that he was so. "I'm bored," he said. No one answered. He looked around the dormitory. No one was there. _Why didn't anyone answer me?_ He thought confusedly. Still trying to wrap his head around this concept, Harry went down to the common room.

"I'm bored." But there was still no one.

He went to the Great Hall. "I'm bored." No one.

He went outside. "I'm bored."

….to the kitchens… "I'm bored."

….to the lake…"I'm bored."

…to the astronomy tower…"I'm bored."

Finally, he gave up trying to find everyone and just yelled "I'M BORED!"

"Well, why didn't you just say so?" asked Hermione, as she and Ron appeared out of nowhere.

"I did!"

"What was that, Harry?" asked Ron.

"I DID!"

"Oh," said Hermione. "Well, maybe you weren't speaking in cap locked letters."

"And why would…I mean, AND WHY WOULD THAT MAKE SUCH A DIFFERENCE?"

"Well, you see Harry, you've been yelling so much lately, that we can only hear you when you speak in cap locked letters."

"Oh," said Harry. "THAT DOESN'T MAKE ANY SENSE!"

Hermione shrugged.

"BESIDES, IT WAS IN THE FIFTH BOOK THAT I WAS "CAP LOCKED HARRY". IN THE SIXTH BOOK, I TALK NORMALY!"

"Oh," said Hermione. "Well, don't look at me…I just say what the author tells me to."

"OK, WHERE IS THIS AUTHOR?"

"Drinking lemonade in Hawaii."

"WHAT!"

"Hey!" said the author randomly. "This is _my_ chappie, so I can be where I want!"

"True…" thought Harry and Hermione.

"Wait," said Harry, "Where'd Ron go?"

"Well, I don't know," answered Hermione. "I'm not his baby-sitter or anything…though admittedly he needs one…"

"Wait, why can you hear me now? I wasn't speaking in cap locked letters!"

Hermione shrugged. "The author probably just got bored of pressing the cap lock key…"

Harry didn't know what a cap lock key was, so this clever speculation was totally lost on him. He decided it would be fun to skip stones on the lake for a bit. He quickly tired of that, however, because that's what he had done all of yesterday.

"Let's find Ron," he said to Hermione.

"Why?" she asked.

"Good point."

"Why am I still here?"

"Probably because the readers would get bored if it was only me."

"Right."

"Wait, you mean they're not bored now?"

"I don't know."

"Who's talking now? I've lost track."

"Maybe it's me, or you…I can't tell; the author stopped writing "said Harry/Hermione", so it's very confusing."

"I hate it when they do that…"

They stood in silence for moment, trying to figure out who was talking, before Harry had the bestest idea ever. And, I mean, for Harry, it was pretty good.

"Let's see how tall we can stack the books in the Library! We can make a tower!"

Okay, so it wasn't that good, but you have to give the guy something. I mean, he has to put up with Voldy for us. And where was Voldy at that moment? Well, we're not exactly sure, but we think it has something to do with magic muffins….

Suddenly, Hermione was gone, and in her place were two crazy authors complaining that they couldn't post their other fic on this site because of script format. They were totally not us, the authors of _this_ fic, by the way. Yeah. So Harry Potter, The Boy Who Lived, The Chosen One, The-boy-who-had-to-put-up-everyone's-stupid-problems, had to go stack books in the Library all by himself.

The moral of the story…………………………………………Did I ever say there would even be one?

The End

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A/N: Yes, I know. You do not have to tell me. I'm crazy. And not really that funny. Although, you could mention it in a review, you know, if you wanted to. :nuddge nudge::wink wink: P


	6. Hopelessly Trapped in a Museum with

**Disclaimer: I don't own Harry Potter, Simpsons, or Potter Puppet Pals. I don't really own anything. Seriously, this isn't even my computer. All I own is my stupid cold, and if you want, you can have it.**

**Hi all, Lady Jarine here, and, taking a leaf out of Harry's book, I'm bored. Well, as you all should know, boredom has a tendancy to make me hyper, and I've been sick and sitting at home for the past two days, so I'm VERY bored right now. SOOOOOOOOOOOOOO I've decided to post the next chapie to this story! Isn't that great everyone?**

**Everyone- :Groans:**

**Well fine then. :pouts: **

**Just then, the Fanfiction police came and dragged Lady Jarine away because she used script format. Well, I'm already in trouble, so...**

**Lady Jarine- Enjoy the chappie::is dragged away:**

Chapter 6: Hopelessly Trapped in a Museum with No Possible Means of Escape

We find out favourite boy-who-has-to-put-up-everyone's-stupid-problems where we last left him, i.e. stacking books in the library. Unfortunately, this stacking action created a tower, and as we all know, towers are evil. Luckily, authors 1, 2, and 4 were there to save the day, then dissappear with a funny noise just like Hagrid. Unfortunately, although he had been saved from the unspeakable evils of the tower, Harry was, yet again, bored. Wow, he gets bored alot.

Harry went back to the Gryffindor common room, hoping that Hermione and/or Ron would have something fun for him to do. Unfortunatley, when he got to the common room, neither of his friends were in sight. "Oh no!" yelled Harry. "They're probably drinking lemonade in Hawaii right now with the author!"

"No, they're not," said a dissembodied voice, "for I am the OTHER AUTHOR, and I'm now in Hawaii too. :clinks lemonade glass with other author: Anyways, my point is, they're not here, or else I would have seen them. Go read the note on the table!"

So Harry went to the table, and sure enough, there was a note. It said:

_Dear Harry, _

_Ron and I decided that there was no better way of spending the day than doing something educational, so..._

_**Harry, is that you? Help, she's got me hopelessly trapped in a museum with no possible means of escape!**_

_Oh, honestly, Ron... Anyways, when you get this note, come to the museum. I'm sure you'll love it, it's absolutely facinating! _

_**No! Harry, don't come! It's a TRAAAAAAAAAAP!**_

_Come on, Ron, if you want to talk to Harry so badly, then why don't you write him a letter yourself?_

_**... That would take effort.**_

_:sigh: Anyways, hope to see you soon!_

_Love from_

_Hermione_

Harry read the note, and decided to go meet them in the museum. After all, he knew his friend would never knowingly lead him anywhere _educational..._

So anyways, Harry got to the museum and found Ron and Hermione. "Harry, I'm so glad you came! Isn't this great! I love museums, they're so educational!"

Harry and Ron stared at her. "Educational? NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!"

Hermione rolled her eyes and walked off, not wanting to be seen with her two anti-knowledge friends. In hindsight, probably not the smartest thing she's ever done

Meanwhile, Harry was pouting. "Hermione betrayed me! And now we're stuck in a museum with no possible means of escape and I'm _bored_!"

Ron, however, wasn't listening. He had just noticed a large display. It contained several really old things that looked breakable percariously balanced on the ends of the shelves. A large red sign over the display read **DO NOT TOUCH!** He called Harry over. "Hey Harry, do you think the sign that says **DO NOT TOUCH!** means **Touch Right Away**?"

Harry thought about this for a moment. "I don't see why not!" Harry and Ron then proceded (A/N: ) to 'bother' the display repeatedly. The really old breakable things inside got closer to falling off with every 'bother', yet they somehow managed to miraculously remain on the shelves. Just then, Hermione found them.

"What do you think you're doing!" she hissed like a beaver. Ha, I bet you didn't know that beavers hissed. Then again, neither did I until I wrote that, so I guess that makes sense. Wait, sense? In THIS story? What has the world come to! Ah well, moving right along...

Harry decided to answer. "Well Hermione, we were bothering the display case, because... **_WE'RE HOPELESSLY TRAPPED IN A MUSEUM WITH NO POSSIBLE MEANS OF ESCAPE AND WE'RE BORED!_**" Unfortunately, this yelling caused the entire display to crash down on them.

"Now look what you did!" Hermione yelled.

Far far away, in his secret lair on the moon, Voldemort was angry. Why, you might ask? Well, it just so happens that Nagini wasn't a horcrux, and that in fact, it was a MUSEUM DISPLAY! And Voldemort, using his super-special evil dude powers, knew that he had, yet again, been twarted by Harry Potter. Ha ha.

**Tada! Okay, that's basically it, so please review if you read this, I don't care if your review is about how aweful this is, as long as it makes the review count number go up! Oh, and if you were wondering, yes, the hopelessly trapped in a museum with no possible means of escape and we're bored _is _based on personal experience :)**

**REVIEW!**

**Lady Jarine**


	7. OMG The World’s a Ball of String!

Chapter 7: OMG The World's a Ball of String!

Harry- I'm going to Europe? Whatever for?

Author- Just…read the fic, okay? The readers have no idea what's going on…

One day, the trio went to Europe.

"Aren't we technically already _living_ there?" asked Hermione.

No.

Because this isn't the place Europe, this is a different kind of Europe, which I am not going to explain properly, therefore achieving complete confusion for all of my readers and JKRowling's characters (disclaimer!) except those who were cool enough to attend this Europe. MUAHAHAHA!

The trio blinked confusedly.

Just then, because the Author (me!) was having the sudden desire to write something Christmas-y, because Christmas was happy and she had had a bad day, she decided to incorporate the aforementioned holiday into the equation. I mean – ahh! Too much math! I meant the story.

"Only 40 days until Christmas!" Ron shouted joyfully.

"No, Ron, there are 45 days!" argued Hermione, because the Author figured they could argue for a long time about anything, which was good for her plot line.

What? Sorry? Oh, okay, you're right, I did mean plot-less line…please forgive me. Because, you know, if you don't, I, the Author, can kill all your favourite characters. So hah.

Anyway, while all of the readers rushed to find a calendar to count the days until Christmas, because they were just so into this chappie, you know, the Author realised that she'd better mention that this was written on the 10th of November, not whenever she had the time to post it.

"Nuh uh!" retorted Ron, as the readers looked up to remember what was actually happening.

"Yah-huh!" argued Hermione.

"Nuh-uh!"

"Yah-huh!"

"Nuh-uh!"

"Yah-huh!"

"Nuh-uh!"

"Yah-huh!"

They were so busy arguing, and Harry was so busy watching them argue, having nothing else to do, that they didn't notice that the Author changed the setting to Amity Park, a very roomy police box, and the Hundred Acre Wood before plopping them back down in the common room.

"Nuh-uh!"

"Yah-huh!"

"Nuh-uh!"

"Yah-huh!"

"Nuh-uh!"

"Yah-huh!"

"SHUT UP!" Harry shouted, showing his inner teen angst.

His friends just ignored him for a while and then stopped arguing randomly, because the Author decided they should. I just love ultimate power :)

"We will have to settle this with a debate," decided Harry. "But we'll have to do it like the Canadian government because the Author doesn't know a thing about the British government."

Ron and Hermione just looked at him.

"Hermione, you'll be the government, and Ron, you'll be the opposition."

"Why does Hermione get to be the government?" asked Ron.

"Because she's always right!" replied Harry, then he paused. "Wait, that doesn't make sense! Okay, Ron you're the government, and Hermione, you're the opposition."

They blinked at him for the third time in this fic (at least, I think it's the third), until the Author magically made them understand what Harry was saying. Isn't magic useful?

"I'll be the Speaker," Harry announced, "But you must call me Princess Speaker."

Ron and Hermione blinked yet again.

"Why?" Ron dared ask.

But Harry was too busy shaking his fist at the sky, where the Author was lying down on a cloud, with her head on her hands, swinging her legs in the air, to answer.

Then he sighed. "Alright, are there any motions?"

Hermione spoke up. "I move that we sit down."

Harry nodded. "All those in favour be pleased to say "aye"."

"Aye," answered Ron and Hermione in union, agreeing for once (gasp!).

"Motion passed," Harry declared, and they all sat down.

"We now look to the legislation "There are only 40 days until Christmas"."

Then the Author skipped the boring parts, because they are boring.

"We now open the floor to debate," announced Harry, who was getting quite good at this announcing thing.

"Mr – I mean Princess Speaker!" Hermione shouted, standing before Ron could so much as twitch, which made him frown, and Hermione, in a bout of OOCness, stuck her tongue out at him. Then she turned back to Harry. "I would like to point out-"

"Hey, I haven't recognized you yet!" Harry declared, as he was also getting the hang of declaring.

Hermione rolled her eyes and sighed, and waited for Harry to say:

"Honourable member of the opposition."

-before stating obnoxiously, "I have proof that there is 45 days until Christmas! I counted! Thank you," and she sat down again.

"Princess Speaker!" Ron shouted, jumping up, unable to hide the smirk on his face. You could just tell he loved calling Harry by his "official title".

"Honourable member of the government," Harry announced, nodding at his friend.

"I would like to point out that _I_ counted, too! Thank you."

No sooner had he sat down than Hermione screamed "_Princess Speaker_!" so loudly that Madam Rosmerta covered her ears.

"Member of the opposition," Harry declared once he had gotten over his temporary deafness, purposefully leaving the "honourable" out of Hermione's title.

Unfortunately, she noticed.

When the boys had recovered from the various jinxes sent at them, Hermione made her statement.

"May I remind everyone," (Harry and Ron looked around – they were hardly enough people for her to need to use the word "everyone") "That I am a lot better at counting than Ron, _and_ I _have_ a calendar," she said coolly. "Look." She then spent the next few minutes showing them as she counted the exact number of days until Christmas.

But of course, neither of the boys was listening.

"That cloud looks like the Author!" Ron suddenly exclaimed.

Hermione scowled. "And so," she concluded, getting rather loud again. "There are 45 days until Christmas." And she sat down in a huff.

"Princess Speaker," Ron said, getting calmly to his feet.

Harry sighed. He, like many of the readers, was getting bored. "Yeah, honourable what'sit?"

"If there are only 40 days until Christmas, it means less time until we get all those presents!"

Well, that made sense the Harry.

Suddenly, for no reason, really, the setting was changed once again, this time to the lake on the grounds. Why were there clouds in the common room, where they were before, you ask? I advise you to read the title of this fic carefully.

"Question having been called," Harry announced, "We will now vote on this legislation. All those in favour be pleased to say "aye"."

"Aye!" shouted Ron loudly.

"All those opposed?"

"Nay!" shouted Hermione, even loudlyer. (And yes, I am well aware that that was not a word until I made it up just now.)

"Oooooo, I get to vote," giggled Harry, abandoning all formality and jumping up and down and clapping his hands. "I vote "Aye" because I can't wait for Christmas!"

Ron whooped. Hermione scowled.

"I declare this motion passed," declared Harry, also whooping.

And so, this chapter serves as further proof that the government just can't do anything right.

It's not a moral, though, because those things only conclude stories with plots. Ya gotta be careful about that.

Then the world blew up, and then un-blew-up, and then turned into a giant ball of string. How did Harry and the gang get out of that one? Well, you'll just have to wait for the next chapter to find out!

Note: This is not a cliffhanger. Those also require stories with plots.

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A/N: There is no a/n at the beginning of the chappie. I am aware of that. Do not ask me about it. Thank you.

Sorry for any inaccurate-ness, but this is a random fic, after all.

Dedicated to my two friends who dragged me to E.O.R.Y.P. (You know who you are!) and my other friend for making all those amendments (heehee!).


	8. HarryPotterInuYashaWizardofOzONAPLANE!

**Chapter 8**

**Harry Potter/ Inuyasha/ The Wizard of Oz… ON A PLANE!!!**

**Disclaimer: If you actually think that I own ANYTHING AT ALL, than I suggest that you go hang out with Kikyo. Yes, I know that's a bit harsh, but maybe one of her monologues would teach you something about how to own has now become to not own, or something.**

Okay, so, the world was a ball of string, and it stayed that way for a very long time, well past Ron and Harry's Christmas, and even Hermione's Christmas. It was a very long time. Well, now that we've established that, on to the story!

The world suddenly un-string-ified, because it can do that when the author tells it to. So yeah. Now it was a normal, string-free world again. Yay!!! So, let's go join our heroes before this gets any more boring.

Harry, Ron, and Hermione were walking down the stairs to the great hall one bright, sunny morning, when Ron decided that he wanted to lead the way. Hermione, of course, refused, resulting in another debate, which Ron won. The sky outside had suddenly shifted to an ominous stormy grey, but nobody noticed that. Hermione would have, but she was too busy sulking. Ha ha.

Well, after a while, they realized that they weren't anywhere near the great hall. In fact, they weren't anywhere near Hogwarts. In fact, they weren't anywhere near the 21st century. They were in… FEUDAL JAPAN!!! (dun dun dun)

Well anyways, they eventually came up to a village, and after much arguing, pleading, and eventually jinxing, Hermione managed to convince Harry and Ron to stop and ask for directions. In the village, they met up with the Inuyasha gang. There they learned that they were indeed not in Kansas anymore (Hermione- Wait, what?!?!). The Inuyasha gang was searching for something called the Shikon Jewel, a shiny marble thingy with cool powers that Inuyasha wanted to use to become a full demon even though he actually didn't. The jewel had recently disappeared, and nobody knew where it had gone. Harry, Ron, and Hermione decided that they would team up with them to find the Wonderful Authors of Oz, who could, of course, help them both with their problems. Because they are just that awesome.

So anyways, as they started off down the Random Dirt Road, they ran into Sesshomaru, Rin, and Jaken, who were also on a quest. Somebody had stolen Sesshomaru's fluffy thing!!! Hermione suggested that they join the quest-group, because surely the Wonderful Authors of Oz could find Sesshomaru's fluffy thing, find the Shikon Jewel _and_ send Harry, Ron, and Hermione home.

Unfortunately, at this point in the story, our group of questing travelers met up with the Wicked Naraku of the West. "Give me the Shikon Jewel!" he yelled.

Inuyasha and friends stared at him. "Um, it's been missing since 40 days before Christmas! (Hmmm…) Have you not noticed?"

The Wicked Naraku of the West, of course, had not noticed, leaving him in a very awkward position. In the end, he just turned into a purple could and went to hide on a mountain.

So anyways, they then went into a forest. In the distance, they heard something strange, almost like someone monologuing to themselves. It was very intimidating, and Ron was telling everyone how it was likely a lion, tiger, or a blast-ended skrewt. They proceeded with caution, and came upon Kikyo and her soul-stealer things. Inuyasha stared at her for a while, and then stopped after Kagome said sit about 9001 times. Maybe 9002. By this time everyone was really getting fed up with Kikyo's ranting, and after Inuyasha had climbed out of his crater, they moved on out of the forest quickly, hoping to get away from Kikyo.

It was a good plan, but unfortunately Kikyo followed them, because she had nothing better to do.

Then, after a long, hard journey that wasn't actually that long or hard, they finally came to a pair of golden doors. The Wonderful Authors of Oz lay on the other side. Their quest was almost finished. They took a minute to stare at the doors in wonder, and think for a while, thus adding angst to the story.

Inuyasha was wondering weather he would become a full demon or not once he got the jewel, and also weather he liked Kikyo or Kagome better. He was very angsty, and the current Author was happy.

Kagome was also wondering if Inuyasha would become a full demon, and thinking about how Inuyasha still loved Kikyo. She was very angsty, and the current Author was happy.

Sango was thinking about her brother, Kohaku, because it caused angst, which made the current Author happy.

Miroku was thinking about Sango. Eew.

Sesshomaru just kinda stood there looking emotionless, because that's what he does. It wasn't very angsty, but that's okay, because he's Sesshomaru.

Harry and Ron were hungry, and Hermione was bored, so that counts as partial angst, which is partially good.

Shippo, Kirara, Jaken, and Rin were just kinda there. But in a very angsty way, I assure you. So yes, there was angst all around, making it a very angsty environment in general.

But alas, sheer angst cannot keep a readers attention forever, so they then went through the doors. They opened in a very slow, creaky, dramatic way. What they saw inside astounded them.

Lady Jarine was sitting on Sesshomaru's fluffy thing, typing on a laptop, while Little Lily Granger was playing marble works with the Shikon Jewel. Everyone stared in complete shock for a while. Then Inuyasha started yelling.

"GYAAAAA!!! WHAT ARE YOU DOING WITH THE JEWEL!!! GIMME!" Then the Wonderful Authors of Oz looked up.

"How did you find us here? Are you internet stalkers?" Lady Jarine asked, glaring suspiciously at Miroku. Little Lily Granger tapped her on the shoulder and stared pointedly at the laptop. "Oh yeah…" Suddenly a house fell on Kikyo. And Lady Jarine was pleased.

Unfortunately, the resulting shaking of the ground knocked the Jewel down an unfinished marble works run. It twisted, spun, went through little windmills, and then crashed to the floor, breaking into and uncountable number of pieces, which then flew everywhere. At this point, the Inuyasha crowd left, muttering angrily. Sesshomaru went and pulled out his fluffy thing from under Lady Jarine and then left with Rin and Jaken, emotionlessly.

And this is where I leave you, gentle readers. Will Harry, Ron, and Hermione ever get back to the great hall to eat? Will the Shikon Jewel ever be kept away from those who would use it for evil or to play marble works? Will this story ever get a feasible plot? Well, I can't say for certain, but I can tell you that the last one is most likely a no. Some of you may be wondering how everyone could understand each other, seeing as Japanese and English are hardly the same language. Well, goodnight everyone, and drive safely!

**Well, that's chapter eight. Yay me, with my finally getting it written-ness! Anyways, I apologize to anyone reading this who doesn't watch Inuyasha, but I hope you still enjoyed it, being as it was also Wizard of Oz and I guess slightly Harry Potter. Oops. Oh well, bye!**


	9. Nothing is Accomplished

A/N: Hi, it's Little Lily Granger, here with chappie 9! And…well, that's all I have to say, really…

Disclaimer: If you try to sue me or Lady Jarine for not owning anything then we'll just sue you right back! So HA!

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This is usually the part of the chapter where there's a recap of last chapter. But I don't feel like doing that. Instead, here's a recap of the non-existent chapter 24:

"Harry, no! It's not worth it! Get out of there!"

As you can see, this chapter would have been more dramatic, more angsty, and less random, which is precisely why it was cancelled. So, is all that clear? Probably not. Oh, well.

So everyone was very angsty all over again. The Inuyasha gang was angsty because they had to collected the shards of the Shikon Jewel _again_. Harry Potter and his friends were angsty because they didn't know how to get home. Fortunately, Harry and Ron didn't know what the word "angst" meant anyway. The Authors were angsty because they had lost the Shikon Jewel and the Fluffy Thing. Lady Jarine was happy.

"Well, this sucks!" said Hermione, surprising everyone with her unusually dim vocabulary. She turned angrily to the Authors. "Can't you ever write something that actually makes sense?"

"No," was all the response she got before Lady Jarine disappeared in a poof of smoke.

"Um…what was that for?" asked some random dude whose presence was not explained because he was random.

"Duh! It's _foreshadowing_!" Little Lily Granger huffed indignantly, which was quite impressive, because that's a hardish word to spell.

"Um, I don't think you're using that word in the proper context," Hermione pointed out, but all she got in return was something that looked suspiciously like a metal detector thrown at her. "What's this?"

"A jewel shard detector," replied Little Lily Granger, whose name was becoming annoyingly long to type out. "Go find all the shards of the jewel and bring them back here."

"And why should I do that?" Hermione was suspicious. She does that a lot.

"Because if you don't then Harry and Ron will starve to death since I won't send you all back to Hogwarts until you come back with a complete jewel."

"But you're the Author, you could just write that they don't die."

Hermione's logic was making a little too much sense so she was quickly banished until she got the jewel back. Fortunately, she took banishment much better than Romeo, and instead of trying to kill herself, she went around finding shards of the jewel, using the jewel shard detector and rolling her eyes frequently.

Suddenly, there was a puff (not to be confused with a poof) of smoke. This time, it was bright pink smoke.

"V-Voldemort?" questioned Hermione upon seeing the evil Dark Lord.

Voldemort frowned. "You sound suspiciously like Quirrell," he said suspiciously. "Are you him in disguise?"

Hermione was too shocked that she and Voldemort had something in common (being suspicious a lot) to realize that what Voldemort had just said was really weird.

Suddenly her shard detector started beeping. Hermione looked suspiciously at Voldemort before realizing what she was doing and changing her look to questioning. "Do you have a jewel shard?"

But Voldemort wasn't paying attention to that. "How did you get that Horcrux detector?" he asked in horror. "I thought I destroyed all the ones that that Muggle fool, Jack Fenton made!"

"What? This is a Horcrux detector?" Hermione thought that it was too good to be true.

She was right, as usual.

"Oops, my bad!" said Little Lily Granger, plucking the instrument out of Hermione's hand. But before Hermione had time to protest, glowy lights started going off somewhere to her right and everyone turned to look.

Suddenly, a girl came out of the glowy shimmers. "I'm Sailor Moon!" she cried. "The Champion of Justice! On behalf of the Moon I right wrongs and….and…um, line?" she finished, turning to the black cat at her side.

Everyone stared. It had never occurred to anyone that the Champion of Justice would wear such a short skirt.

The black cat sighed. "You were saying it wrong anyway."

"Um, I fight evil! And that means you!" Sailor Moon finished, pointing at Voldemort.

"Aww, how can everyone always tell?" Voldemort complained, upset.

"Sailor Moon, use your tiara!" the cat told the short-skirted girl, who always needed reminding of the ways in which bad guys could be defeated.

"Right!" said Sailor Moon, taking off her tiara much too elegantly for someone in the midst of battle. "Moooooooooooooooon………..tiaraaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa……….magi-"

But she was cut off as Voldemort hit her with a killing curse. Well, that was what she got for taking too long to say her attacks. But Sailor Moon didn't die, since she was too cool for that. She just went back to wherever the heck she was from, leaving everyone else to ponder an age-old question: How did Luna (the cat, not the human) make things appear by simply jumping into the air amidst sparkly things?

They were so busy with that that no one noticed Lady Jarine stealing Kirara, since she had wanted one for her birthday, but had been given a think-scooter instead.

"What's a think-scooter?" asked Hermione, unwilling to admit that she had no answer to the age-old question.

But that wasn't the issue, so everyone ignored her again. The issue was that Little Lily Granger had been right; she had made Lady Jarine disappear in a poof of smoke earlier so that she could reappear later and steal Kirara. And that meant Hermione had been wrong about the foreshadowing thing.

In the time it took everyone to absorb this shocking information, an auctioneer had managed to gather all the shards of the Shikon Jewel and had come to wherever-the-heck-they-were to auction it off, InuYasha's gang had arrived to get Kirara back, Naraku had come off his mountain to get the jewel, Lady Jarine had given Kirara back in exchange for a flower that Shippo had given her (cause he was just that cool) and the random dude had appeared again for reasons that will not be explained.

InuYasha, Naraku, Little Lily Granger and the Random Dude all wanted the Shikon Jewel, so they went to the auction. But the auctioneer talked too fast for anyone to understand him, so some duct tape randomly appeared to dispose of him. It was decided that a contest would be held instead, and the winner would get the jewel.

"So," said Hermione, a _really_ long time later (it had taken a while to convince InuYasha and Naraku to stop fighting, for some reason). She had been chosen as judge because she was the only smart person there who didn't care what happened, or even if Harry and Ron starved to death, by this point. She just wanted to go home.

"So," said Hermione again, as the Author wanted to recap after a long paragraph, "Why do you want the jewel?" she asked the Random Dude (Who was very happy for having his title capitalized).

"World peace," he answered immediately. He was just as quickly thrown out of the contest for having such a cliché-pageant-contest-answer.

"This really isn't a contest, is it?" commented Luna (the human this time). "It's more like an interview to see who should get the jewel based on what they'll use it for."

She made a lot of sense (which was unusual for her) so everyone ignored her, but she was cool so she was aloud to stay.

"What about you?" Hermione turned to InuYasha.

"I'd use it to become full demon." Or so he thought, but he didn't say that last part out loud.

"Naraku?"

"To rule the world."

"Hey!" interrupted Voldemort. "That's my goal! I won't let you crush my dreams!"

"And Little Lily Granger?"

"I just wanted to play marble works."

Well, that one made the most sense and didn't put the world in danger (we hope), so Little Lily Granger got the jewel (YAY!).

But then ::gasp!:: Naraku took off his baboon costume, a true sign that he was angry.

"You can't take the Shikon Jewel!" he shouted. "If you do, I'll sue you!" But then he remembered that, as discovered last chapter, they weren't in Kansas, and thus not in the United States. _Ergo_, he couldn't just sue people anytime he wanted for no real reason. So, cursing in anger, he fled back to his mountain, which for some reason made the InuYasha gang very annoyed.

Sango, Miroku and Kagome felt left out because they had only been mentioned as "InuYasha's gang" until now, and the Authors, now in possession of the Shikon Jewel and Sesshomaru's Fluffy Thing again (but shhhhh! Don't mention that last one, Sesshomaru's after us and we don't want him to find out where we are) rode off into the sunset, leaving readers either wondering where their horses came from, or what had really been accomplished by this chapter.

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A/N: The answer to that last question: Nothing! Go back and read the end of the last chapter for exiting non-cliff-hanger (remember the plot rule) questions, and stay tuned!

Also, haha to Lady Jarine, I left her with the same mess she left me.


	10. Snow Day!

**Prologue**

**Once upon a time, a long time ago (well, actually just this morning…), Lady Jarine was stuck with a difficult puzzle to solve. How in the world was she going to get Harry, Ron, and Hermione back to their own place and time without leaving gaping, mind-numbing plotholes and unanswered questions for all the readers? Lady Jarine thought. And she thought. And then she thought some more. It may have seemed like she just read fanfiction and played on HogwartsLive, but I assure you, underneath her seemingly careless exterior, she was, indeed, thinking.**

**And then she remembered, "Hey, wait a minute, this is The Random Story of Randomness! Who the heckness **_**cares**_** if I leave gaping, mind-numbing plotholes and unanswered questions for all the readers?"**

**And thus, chapter ten (double digits!) of RSoR was born (spawned, whatever).**

**Oh, and also, I don't own anything that's worth owning. Except all that stuff that I own that I really like. But I don't own all the really cool stuff, stuff I could actually make money from.**

Chapter Ten

_Defining Our Childhood and Create Lasting Memories That We'll Cherish All Through Our Lives_

_(Or, alternatively, if you hate long titles, Snow Day)_

So, all of a sudden, Harry, Ron, and Hermione found themselves back at Hogwarts. "Wait a minute, how in the world did that happen?" asked Hermione, glaring accusingly in the general direction of where she assumed the author was.

"Ok, first of all, read the author's note, I put a lot of work into it!" sobbed Lady Jarine. "And second of all, it's a snow day!"

"But what does that have to do with anything?" Hermione asked, exasperated.

Lady Jarine shrugged. "Nothing really, I guess, I just wanted to gloat." And with that noble sentiment, she flew off to have a fun day of snowy goodness.

So, Harry, Ron, and Hermione decided that since that conversation with the author was exceedingly pointless, they would ignore it and pretend that it never happened. All in all, it was a good plan. But since there was no giant snowstorm at Hogwarts that day, they still had to go to classes.

Suckers.

So, their first class that day was potions with Snape. Because this is my fanfiction, and not only are they all still in school, Snape is still the potions master. And also several characters were only pretending to be dead. But I digress.

Unfortunately, all this idle conversation (read: rambling) with the author had cost them a decent chunk of time, and they were ten minutes late for class. Snape was most displeased. "Nice of you to finally join us," he said with a sneer, causing Harry to think that he was lying, and that he really didn't appreciate the fact that they had come. Harry pouted.

Ron, however, looked miffed. "But it's a snow day, professor, the driving was really slow!" Everyone gave him a strange look. Harry elbowed him.

"Ron, we were supposed to pretend that conversation never happened!" he hissed. Ron, however, didn't understand parsletongue, and therefore couldn't figure out what the strange hissing noises coming from his friend were supposed to mean.

Snape, however, was decidedly more articulate than Harry. "Weasley, this isn't Canada. It's not even snowing right now. And even if it was, you don't really have to worry about a commute," he pointed out. And speaking of points…. "Fifty points from Gryffindor for your stupid, and let us pray that it is not contagious."

Ron was sad. Harry decided that, being the hero he was, he should defend his sad friend. "But Professor, snow days are happy, magical days that define our childhood and create lasting memories that we'll cherish all through our lives!"

In all fairness, I never said he would defend his sad friend _well_. Snape did not look convinced. "Quite frankly, Potter, I don't care about your happy childhood memories. As far as I'm concerned, all childhood memories should be of PAAAAAAAIINNNNNN!!!!!!!!" Snape said, with a maniacal gleam in his eyes. Hermione rolled her eyes.

Then Harry got an idea. An awful idea. Harry got a wonderful, _awful_ idea! He pulled out a cell phone and started dialing.

Hermione instantly got angry, as she was known to do whenever something so completely uncannon happened. "Harry, what are you doing? You _know_ that electronics don't work inside Hogwarts!"

Harry rolled his eyes. "Well, duh, but that's _normal_ electronics. This is a magical cell phone. You see, me and Voldemort were getting tired of having our connection in our heads, because the Tylenol bills were getting pretty pricey, so we decided to switch to [INSERT PHONE COMPANY HERE. Now, we get unlimited anytime minutes. Isn't that great!?" Harry finished, excitedly, and held the phone up to his ear.

"Hello? Voldemort? Oh, hi Mr. Malfoy, can you put Voldemort on the phone? Yeah, sure, I'll hold. Voldemort? Hey, it's Harry. Yeah, yeah, I'll kill you to, but more to the point, can you use your super-magic-powers to make it snow? How is it evil? Well, how is it NOT evil! Yes yes, I know, happy childhood memories, but I really want a snow day. Ok, thanks, Voldy! Bye!" Harry shut his phone. "He says it should be snowing within ten, maybe fifteen minutes. Oh, and to watch our backs, because his next evil plot's gonna be a good one."

Hermione was very angry at this point, and was ranting loudly at anyone who would listen, which was exactly no one, so to this very day, we have no way of knowing exactly what she was saying. We can only assume that she was praising Harry for his ingenious disregard for hard cannon facts in order to create snow for the mere purpose of missing class.

So anyways, when the bell rang to signal the end of potions, Harry, Ron and Hermione all rushed up the stairs and saw that outside the castle was a HUGE GINORMOUS SNOW-TASTIC SNOW STORM!!! A voice came over the intercom. "Attention all students: We have decided to call a snow day." Cheering was heard far and wide, as the students prepared themselves for a happy, magical day that would define their childhoods. Except for Hermione, who was wondering when in the world Hogwarts had gotten an intercom system.

The voice on the intercom, however, had not finished. "THIS WILL MEAN," yelled the voice, trying to regain everyone's attention,"that all outdoor classes will be cancelled, as well as all busses. The school will remain open."

"But we don't even have busses!" whined Harry.

"And all of the classes we have are inside today, anyways!" complained Ron.

"Well then, I guess it sucks to be you," the intercom voice replied smartly. Harry and Ron were sad. Hermione, however, wasn't, and skipped her merry way to her next class. Harry and Ron then got an idea.

"Hey, Lady Jarine, you're the author of this fic, you could cancel classes for us!" Harry exclaimed, turning in the general direction that he assumed the author to be in.

"Your right, I could," Lady Jarine agreed. "But I won't. School build character. Also, I like to see people who aren't me suffer. I'm good like that," she said with an innocent smile. Harry and Ron, grumbling, went off to class.

Suckers.

**A/N: TADA!!! I love snow days, even if I technically don't take a yellow bus and so should technically be at school right now... Ah well. Please review, it will make my life! Seriously, I'm not even kidding. Although to be fair, yesterday I claimed that finding a shiny nickel on the table made my life, so, ya know, whatever. Still, please review!**


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